Poolside Sightings

Today's Pool Sightings Include:

Two people straight from 1982, yet they were not at the pool together. The first was a man wearing a bathing suit with neon green, pink, and blue squares. He also appeared to have crimped his hair this morning before running down to the pool with his rainbow shaded aviators. Surprisingly he was not with the other woman who just got out of her time machine from 1982. She came to the pool with a friend who was wearing a trucker hat decked out with gem stones. That's right, she bedazzled her trucker hat. 1982 girl was wearing the brightest orange bathing suit I have ever seen. It was so bright it hurt my eyes just to look in her direction. It was high cut and barely covered her ass. She also had on a red visor.

There were also the typical poolside lovers. I am not sure why people feel the need to cuddle in the pool and make out as if they were in their own private hot tub at Sandals Spa Resort. HELLO! There are other people at the pool with you. Some of them are actually small children and they don't need to be witnesses to a hot and heavy love affair in the deep end of the pool. Stay in your apartment or save it for later. I think you'll be ok. Also, laying in pool chairs next to your boyfriend and holding hands while you lay in your chair is so incredibly lame. Please refrain from doing that.

The skinniest woman alive was also at the pool today. The last time I saw her she was shamefully sliding down a swirling, blue plastic slide in our playground. She tried to wait until she wasn't in my line of sight anymore, but I did see her go down that slide. Maybe that's her prize after she works out for 19 hours at the gym.

Located right by the children's pool (probably to check out the hot moms) was extremely red man. It was about 100 degrees today so I am not sure why he didn't feel the sun beating down on him causing him to get extreme third degree burns on his chest, but I guess he thought it was ok to continue laying out as his skin got increasingly redder than a lobster.

Please stay tuned for further updates on the interesting characters that attend my pool.

The Locker Room

My new apartment building has its own gym, albeit small, there are several reasons why I am glad to not have to attend Sport and Health any longer. Of course the financial benefit is great since I now don't have to pay a monthly membership fee. The convenience has also turned out to be superb. I can go to the gym at any time I feel like it and all I have to do is walk down stairs. However, one of the greatest benefits of having my a gym in my building is the fact that I no longer have to expose myself to the locker room. After I finish working out, I can go right upstairs to my own apartment and take a shower, and after some of the things I have seen in the women's locker room at the gym this is really quite a benefit.

I always wondered when I worked out at Sport and Health why some women felt it was appropriate and acceptable to do certain things naked. For instances, there were the women who ironed their clothes in the nude. Really? You can't put your underwear on at least, or a towel? Then there are the women who do their hair and put their makeup on totally naked. Now, maybe that is how they do it at home - good for them if so. But I personally don't need to see their boobs bouncing around in the mirror while I am trying to get dressed. My favorite is the lady who either just got out of the shower or is on her way to the shower. She stops to talk to her friend . . . naked. She has a towel in her hand. Why doesn't she put her towel on? I am not sure. I guess Patty thinks that Leslie feels more comfortable if she stands there and talks to her totally naked.

Then there are the people who just do absolutely disgusting things out in open plain sight view of everyone in the locker room - such as lotion up every crevice of their naked body or putting a tampon on. Or, maybe they lotion up their body and bend over while you are standing right next to them and then their bare naked ass brushes up against you. I even once saw a woman blow drying her personal area. I think you know what I'm talking about. Why? Why do they do these things? I just want to shower and change really quickly and not have to be bombarded with pure nakedness.

I have also seen some interesting things in the sauna, steam room, and hot tub area of the locker room. There was once a woman who hit up each 'hot' area fullyclothed. First the sauna, then the steam room. She decided to take on the hot tub last, and yes, she got in the hot tub with a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants on. This was odd, but I did appreciate the fact that she didn't feel the need to be totally naked everywhere at all times. In the steam room I find it very disgusting when women lay totally naked on the tiled benches, as if right before them some other gross lady didn't do the exact same thing. I guess they don't have a problem with this type of fluids exchange.

So, needless to say, after these previous locker room experiences, I really am pretty excited to have my own gym right here in my building. Among other great amenities and cool roommates, this place is pretty sweet!

rude things people do in the movie theater

i know we have all been to the movies at some point in our life. and, most likely we have all been to the movies and probably wanted to punch someone sitting near you in the face. that happened to me today.

it really blows my mind the things that people will do in a movie theater. there are the people that bring babies to the movies. a baby can't even make it without crying two hours at home, a place where there are no strangers and there are plenty of things to occupy them. what makes their parents think that they may just make it through a movie without crying? then there are the people that talk and comment on literally every single thing that happens. this woman sat in front of me, annie, and my mom when we saw the count of monte cristo. i think this person also sat behind laurie at the sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 (yes, I saw that movie and loved it). there are the groups of teens who sit with their feet on chairs, laughing at parts that aren't funny and chatting with their friends as if they were sitting at starbucks. why do you choose to go to a movie theater to do this? are your friends that hideous that you need to pay $10 to sit in the dark and talk to them? go to a park bench . . . ITS FREE. then there are the texters. news flash people texting in the movie theater, its dark and there and everyone can SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

well, today, as i sat in the theater seeing funny people (funny but too long), the man sitting in my row (two seats away, i had the pleasure of sitting next to his girlfriend), chose to take multiple calls on his cell phone during the film. not only did he take calls, but he had conversations. he didn't answer and say 'hey i'm at the movies let me call you back,' he chatted with the person on the other line. first of all, WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE TO BEGIN WITH? what in gods name is that important that you are answering your phone during a movie, and if there is something that important that you need to answer your phone for, WHY ARE YOU AT A MOVIE TO BEGIN WITH. i decided he was a drug dealer and that there was a problem with his drug shipment. so, he was kind of like a sonny corinthos (GH) type of guy. still, if that's who you are, get the movie for free on your home theater. no one wants to listen to you talking on the phone when they've paid $10 to see a movie.