Poolside Sightings

Today's Pool Sightings Include:

Two people straight from 1982, yet they were not at the pool together. The first was a man wearing a bathing suit with neon green, pink, and blue squares. He also appeared to have crimped his hair this morning before running down to the pool with his rainbow shaded aviators. Surprisingly he was not with the other woman who just got out of her time machine from 1982. She came to the pool with a friend who was wearing a trucker hat decked out with gem stones. That's right, she bedazzled her trucker hat. 1982 girl was wearing the brightest orange bathing suit I have ever seen. It was so bright it hurt my eyes just to look in her direction. It was high cut and barely covered her ass. She also had on a red visor.

There were also the typical poolside lovers. I am not sure why people feel the need to cuddle in the pool and make out as if they were in their own private hot tub at Sandals Spa Resort. HELLO! There are other people at the pool with you. Some of them are actually small children and they don't need to be witnesses to a hot and heavy love affair in the deep end of the pool. Stay in your apartment or save it for later. I think you'll be ok. Also, laying in pool chairs next to your boyfriend and holding hands while you lay in your chair is so incredibly lame. Please refrain from doing that.

The skinniest woman alive was also at the pool today. The last time I saw her she was shamefully sliding down a swirling, blue plastic slide in our playground. She tried to wait until she wasn't in my line of sight anymore, but I did see her go down that slide. Maybe that's her prize after she works out for 19 hours at the gym.

Located right by the children's pool (probably to check out the hot moms) was extremely red man. It was about 100 degrees today so I am not sure why he didn't feel the sun beating down on him causing him to get extreme third degree burns on his chest, but I guess he thought it was ok to continue laying out as his skin got increasingly redder than a lobster.

Please stay tuned for further updates on the interesting characters that attend my pool.