One day my roommate and I were googling (yes I used that as a verb) really stupid things after many games of beer pong to suppress our anger over that days football catastrophes. We watched some hilarious YouTube videos. Most of you probably know my favorites (they have been featured in this blog) . . . O-mazing Grace, Atlanta Grape Stomp, David goes to the Dentist, etc. While searching for hilarious videos to make us laugh we came across a Hip Hopera prodcued by the ever so popular (probably only to creeps and weirdos now) R Kelly.
R's (how can your first name literally just be a letter????) Hip Hopera is called Trapped in the Closet. According to Wikipedia, "the songs tell the story of a one-night stand that sets off a chain of events, which gradually reveals a greater web of lies, sex, and deceit." I am going to save you some time right now, and tell you what happens, and then you can decide if the makers of the opera had this in mind for a way to tell stories.
R Kelly cheats on his wife with some chick he met at a club. In the morning when he tries to leave the chick's husband comes home. He finds R there and gets pissed, which is a normal reaction, except for the fact that he then admits that he also has cheated on his wife, but with a gay man. After a drawn out fight between the wife, the hubby, and the gay lover, R peaces out of that joint and speeds home only to get pulled over by a cop who ends up being his wife's lover
(of course she is cheating too). R and the cop get in a crazy fight over his wife at the house and they 'accidentally' shoot R's brother in law. After the accidental shooting, the cop heads home to his wife only to find out that she is also cheating on him, but wait for it . . . she's cheating on him with a midget. When the midget is revealed, he actually shits in his pants and then passes out, which just adds another truly unreal and disgusting twist to this lovely Hip Hopera. 
The cop's wife then admits not only is she cheating with this midget, but that she is also preggers with the midget's baby. Also, the midget's name is ironically Big Man. In the midst of watching all of this fantastic acting and mesmerizing scenes, you will be extremely pleased to know that R Kelly sings every single part for each person. So, you guessed it, you get to hear him sing in a high pitched southern accent which just so happens to be my favorite part of this true work of art. This only covers chapters 1 through 12. And guess what, there are 22 chapters. AND, R Kelly has even made 15 more chapters that he has promised to release when the public demands it. I'm sorry but WHEN does he expect that to happen? When is anyone going to be demanding to find out what happens't to that midget's baby. And, even if you did want to find out, I'm not really sure where you are supposed to submit your demands to. I think R just may be sitting on those videos for a while. And you know what, thats probably A OK with Jacopo Peri, who I would assume, didn't really have this in mind when he wrote his first opera in 1597.
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